FIFA 2012
EA Sports
So we meet again old friend.
After much umming and ahhing and some six years away from the seminal console football franchise I picked up FIFA 12 under the perhaps misguided apprehension that they had finally created the most realistic football experience short of doing it yourself and getting some much needed exercise in the process. EA sports have come together to help perpetuate the deluded fantasies of armchair football buffs and appeal to the ever growing crowd of people waking up to the fact that perspiration and aching muscles are no fun! You evil, maniacal, wonderful bastards you! The superior feeling one gets from mastering such a game is not quite on a par with the “Guitar Hero” franchise but seriously...I could have been Wayne Rooney! This football lark is a piece of piss!!
Let me preface all that follows by saying that I have never played one single second of the irritatingly worshipped Pro Evolution Soccer series. So with that, if you were expecting a comparison between the two games and 50 reasons why Fifa is better (or worse) than said game, you fan-boys who like to discuss the superiority of the “realistic dribbling system” will be sorely disappointed. I couldn’t give a rats hind-quarters frankly and yes my devotion (if you can call 6 years away devotion at all) to FIFA is founded upon the most shallow of criteria;
1. Superior Graphics
2. FIFA was here first...sorry!
3. I’m a real stickler for authenticity and FIFA holds all the licensing rights...I wouldn’t feel nearly as great about scoring a goal with some balding potato named “Layne Pooney” anyhow.
One of the things that irks me about yearly franchises is the apparent lack of imagination or innovation that is an inevitable result of the quick turnaround time. FIFA it seemed was one of the worst offenders for this type of air-headed complacency and that became one of the main reasons that this Pro Evo pretender was able to muscle its way onto the scene like an annoyingly pretentious hipster whose always one step ahead of his unfairly maligned older brother. See the thing is, FIFA promises its fans innovation every year and so far all it’s given us is barely a nod towards such improvements. Toddler steps were never going to get the franchise very far. Even if this toddler was cute and we were applauding it for trying we were still frustrated he was a slow stumbling little shit.
Well fans...FIFA has finally decided it wants to bulk up and sprint towards delivering truly mind boggling innovations. More power to them, but I’m really not sure if this is a good or a bad thing yet as I will now attempt to explain. The major innovation this year comes in the form of a new “more realistic” tackling system that I was quick to scoff at. ‘Oh yeah? What have they done? Added new “realistic sounds” in the foley studio??’ Imagine my utter stupefied surprise to find that this year’s innovation is so mind bendingly massive and game changing that it requires a whole fucking tutorial before you even start playing. Instead of mindlessly mashing the conservative tackle button in the hope you would finally catch up to that speedy prick Ronaldo, players must now employ a much more tactical and measured approach that requires patience and skill. There is an emphasis on jockeying and positioning that delivers a (dare I say it) much more realistic defending experience. In previous games no matter how many times you mashed the conservative tackle button your player would only tackle if he was close enough to do so. Doing the same in FIFA 12 will cause your player to kick out at thin air, take him out of the game for a few valuable seconds and generally leave you looking like a bit of a prick. There is also the option to harass the player on the ball and employ a sneaky shirt pull. Too much of this and the referee will deem it a foul which is often at times infuriating. This is FIFA folks but not as we know it.
I was impressed by the size of EA sports huevos in their employment of such a major change and it takes quite a while to get used to. Thing is, I’m not sure if the often frantic pace of FIFA lends itself to these kinds of investments in patient play. It is a well known fact that for a good few years now FIFA has successfully made its A.I. more tactically aware and harder to play against. Unless you’re are playing the game on the easiest of difficulty settings it is nigh on impossible to carry the ball the length of the pitch or score a hat-trick of forty yard belters. My brother and I still lovingly refer to such real-life exploits as “FIFA runs” when we see a player like human tank Micah Richards storm forward. That being so, for the regular player chances to breach an irritatingly solid defence, however satisfying it may be when you do, are few and far between. I don’t want to spend a quarter of the fleeting six minute half jockeying Ashley Young into a corner only to see the tricky rapscallion win the throw at the end of it. It may finally fall into place for me a few weeks down the road but I’m not quite there yet. The most infuriating thing about the new system for me is that it makes the difficulty spike between “Semi-Pro” difficulty and “Professional” difficulty annoyingly sharp especially when it comes to scoring goals. I spent my first week or so playing FIFA 12 deliberating the toss-up between being able to perform “FIFA runs” thus winning 9-0 and playing out frustrating 0-0 stalemates. I’m sure I’ll get there in the end and while the pick up and play element is there I would prefer more of a happy medium between the two difficulty levels. Scoring 5 with Peter Lovenkrands shatters the veneer of realism like you wouldn’t believe!!
EA Sports have also ramped up the difficulty stakes when it comes to delivering a pinpoint cross. Before, all you had to do to land a cross on your forwards head was tap the cross button and hope you did so with enough power to find him. This time there is a greater emphasis on having to align the cross with the RS, which is more difficult than you think when taking a buccaneering run. EA Sports seem to have realized this fact when they decided to include the baffling “Ruud Boy” achievement which requires you to score from a volley. Other aspects of the game are annoyingly or challengingly difficult to master as well. I’m sure I’m just being a noob here but how the fuck you’re supposed to score free kicks I have no idea. Cue 100 comments of people, rightly, calling me an idiot.
Another innovation is the “Player Impact Engine” which allows for more realistic and varied responses to various kinds of tackles. It is indeed as hilarious as it sounds that when you successfully execute a crunching sliding tackle on Nani he falls arse over tit. It is one of those things that when it is goes right it adds an incredible layer of realism to the gameplay and when it goes wrong it does so with extremely funny results. The ability to crash into your own player means that I have seen Suarez and Carol perform all manner of homo-erotic embraces and contortions after falling over each other.
The single player career mode is your standard “Play through a league season with the club of your choice” format with the major changes coming from the way that you interact with your players and the press. You actually can this time YEAH?!? This is a good addition in the main but I can’t shake the feeling that FIFA was trying to appeal to the rabid Football Manager fanbase who will gleefully play through 10 seasons, soiled nappies and all. The problem with FIFA is that once I get through one season I can’t imagine for the life of me why I’d want to play the second, which ultimately makes the idea of constructing a youth academy a useless premise. Also why should I give a fuck Carrick is unhappy because sitting on the bench is giving him bedsores? Sit there and rot you whiner!
Online gameplay has been greatly improved with the addition of “Head to Head Seasons” which grant you the same points as if playing in a real league. Accumulate enough of these points after 10 games and you can climb up through the leagues and offers a great incentive to play ranked matches. My one complaint with the online is not the fault of the developers but the fault of thousands upon thousands of fans; ‘Ok ok who am I playing...Oh Barcelona...That’s refreshing!’ Maybe I’m just sick of the site of a thousand virtual Messi’s turning me inside out but have some imagination people will you please?! I long for the days when I can pit my wits against the mighty Hartlepool or try to stop human mediocrity machine Darius Vassell.
Last year’s DLC only “Ultimate Team” mode is available on disk this time around and is a really fun experience that requires patience, timing and tactical nous. You can trade players, gain money to by packs of new players and swap them about to create lethal combinations. This mode is a true delight! As is the return of the Challenges to which FIFA are adding more and more to week in week out.
Overall the visuals are amazing, the authenticity is hard to top and Martin Tyler’s commentary is well acted and impeccably delivered. Which brings me nicely onto the main problem I have with FIFA 12. Chauvinist pig dog he may be but FIFA 12 makes me long for the days of the passionate Scott Andy Gray. Who didn’t love ‘Take a boo son!’? The problem is that they have replaced him with Buzz Killington himself Alan “Smudger” Smith who is about as exciting as a Help the Aged trip to Hull. Here is a person who delivers his lines with all the charisma and panache of a cold unseasoned potato soup given to you by a Soviet Matriarch aboard the Trans Siberian express. A train that has gone through a wormhole, taken a detour and broken down somewhere on the outskirts of Barnsley.
These flaws aside FIFA is as enjoyable as ever and has made great strides in maintaining its status as the most realistic representation of the beautiful game on the market.
FIFA 2012: 7/10
'BadIdeaDan' at mlm
So we meet again old friend.
After much umming and ahhing and some six years away from the seminal console football franchise I picked up FIFA 12 under the perhaps misguided apprehension that they had finally created the most realistic football experience short of doing it yourself and getting some much needed exercise in the process. EA sports have come together to help perpetuate the deluded fantasies of armchair football buffs and appeal to the ever growing crowd of people waking up to the fact that perspiration and aching muscles are no fun! You evil, maniacal, wonderful bastards you! The superior feeling one gets from mastering such a game is not quite on a par with the “Guitar Hero” franchise but seriously...I could have been Wayne Rooney! This football lark is a piece of piss!!
Let me preface all that follows by saying that I have never played one single second of the irritatingly worshipped Pro Evolution Soccer series. So with that, if you were expecting a comparison between the two games and 50 reasons why Fifa is better (or worse) than said game, you fan-boys who like to discuss the superiority of the “realistic dribbling system” will be sorely disappointed. I couldn’t give a rats hind-quarters frankly and yes my devotion (if you can call 6 years away devotion at all) to FIFA is founded upon the most shallow of criteria;
1. Superior Graphics
2. FIFA was here first...sorry!
3. I’m a real stickler for authenticity and FIFA holds all the licensing rights...I wouldn’t feel nearly as great about scoring a goal with some balding potato named “Layne Pooney” anyhow.
One of the things that irks me about yearly franchises is the apparent lack of imagination or innovation that is an inevitable result of the quick turnaround time. FIFA it seemed was one of the worst offenders for this type of air-headed complacency and that became one of the main reasons that this Pro Evo pretender was able to muscle its way onto the scene like an annoyingly pretentious hipster whose always one step ahead of his unfairly maligned older brother. See the thing is, FIFA promises its fans innovation every year and so far all it’s given us is barely a nod towards such improvements. Toddler steps were never going to get the franchise very far. Even if this toddler was cute and we were applauding it for trying we were still frustrated he was a slow stumbling little shit.
Well fans...FIFA has finally decided it wants to bulk up and sprint towards delivering truly mind boggling innovations. More power to them, but I’m really not sure if this is a good or a bad thing yet as I will now attempt to explain. The major innovation this year comes in the form of a new “more realistic” tackling system that I was quick to scoff at. ‘Oh yeah? What have they done? Added new “realistic sounds” in the foley studio??’ Imagine my utter stupefied surprise to find that this year’s innovation is so mind bendingly massive and game changing that it requires a whole fucking tutorial before you even start playing. Instead of mindlessly mashing the conservative tackle button in the hope you would finally catch up to that speedy prick Ronaldo, players must now employ a much more tactical and measured approach that requires patience and skill. There is an emphasis on jockeying and positioning that delivers a (dare I say it) much more realistic defending experience. In previous games no matter how many times you mashed the conservative tackle button your player would only tackle if he was close enough to do so. Doing the same in FIFA 12 will cause your player to kick out at thin air, take him out of the game for a few valuable seconds and generally leave you looking like a bit of a prick. There is also the option to harass the player on the ball and employ a sneaky shirt pull. Too much of this and the referee will deem it a foul which is often at times infuriating. This is FIFA folks but not as we know it.
I was impressed by the size of EA sports huevos in their employment of such a major change and it takes quite a while to get used to. Thing is, I’m not sure if the often frantic pace of FIFA lends itself to these kinds of investments in patient play. It is a well known fact that for a good few years now FIFA has successfully made its A.I. more tactically aware and harder to play against. Unless you’re are playing the game on the easiest of difficulty settings it is nigh on impossible to carry the ball the length of the pitch or score a hat-trick of forty yard belters. My brother and I still lovingly refer to such real-life exploits as “FIFA runs” when we see a player like human tank Micah Richards storm forward. That being so, for the regular player chances to breach an irritatingly solid defence, however satisfying it may be when you do, are few and far between. I don’t want to spend a quarter of the fleeting six minute half jockeying Ashley Young into a corner only to see the tricky rapscallion win the throw at the end of it. It may finally fall into place for me a few weeks down the road but I’m not quite there yet. The most infuriating thing about the new system for me is that it makes the difficulty spike between “Semi-Pro” difficulty and “Professional” difficulty annoyingly sharp especially when it comes to scoring goals. I spent my first week or so playing FIFA 12 deliberating the toss-up between being able to perform “FIFA runs” thus winning 9-0 and playing out frustrating 0-0 stalemates. I’m sure I’ll get there in the end and while the pick up and play element is there I would prefer more of a happy medium between the two difficulty levels. Scoring 5 with Peter Lovenkrands shatters the veneer of realism like you wouldn’t believe!!
EA Sports have also ramped up the difficulty stakes when it comes to delivering a pinpoint cross. Before, all you had to do to land a cross on your forwards head was tap the cross button and hope you did so with enough power to find him. This time there is a greater emphasis on having to align the cross with the RS, which is more difficult than you think when taking a buccaneering run. EA Sports seem to have realized this fact when they decided to include the baffling “Ruud Boy” achievement which requires you to score from a volley. Other aspects of the game are annoyingly or challengingly difficult to master as well. I’m sure I’m just being a noob here but how the fuck you’re supposed to score free kicks I have no idea. Cue 100 comments of people, rightly, calling me an idiot.
Another innovation is the “Player Impact Engine” which allows for more realistic and varied responses to various kinds of tackles. It is indeed as hilarious as it sounds that when you successfully execute a crunching sliding tackle on Nani he falls arse over tit. It is one of those things that when it is goes right it adds an incredible layer of realism to the gameplay and when it goes wrong it does so with extremely funny results. The ability to crash into your own player means that I have seen Suarez and Carol perform all manner of homo-erotic embraces and contortions after falling over each other.
The single player career mode is your standard “Play through a league season with the club of your choice” format with the major changes coming from the way that you interact with your players and the press. You actually can this time YEAH?!? This is a good addition in the main but I can’t shake the feeling that FIFA was trying to appeal to the rabid Football Manager fanbase who will gleefully play through 10 seasons, soiled nappies and all. The problem with FIFA is that once I get through one season I can’t imagine for the life of me why I’d want to play the second, which ultimately makes the idea of constructing a youth academy a useless premise. Also why should I give a fuck Carrick is unhappy because sitting on the bench is giving him bedsores? Sit there and rot you whiner!
Online gameplay has been greatly improved with the addition of “Head to Head Seasons” which grant you the same points as if playing in a real league. Accumulate enough of these points after 10 games and you can climb up through the leagues and offers a great incentive to play ranked matches. My one complaint with the online is not the fault of the developers but the fault of thousands upon thousands of fans; ‘Ok ok who am I playing...Oh Barcelona...That’s refreshing!’ Maybe I’m just sick of the site of a thousand virtual Messi’s turning me inside out but have some imagination people will you please?! I long for the days when I can pit my wits against the mighty Hartlepool or try to stop human mediocrity machine Darius Vassell.
Last year’s DLC only “Ultimate Team” mode is available on disk this time around and is a really fun experience that requires patience, timing and tactical nous. You can trade players, gain money to by packs of new players and swap them about to create lethal combinations. This mode is a true delight! As is the return of the Challenges to which FIFA are adding more and more to week in week out.
Overall the visuals are amazing, the authenticity is hard to top and Martin Tyler’s commentary is well acted and impeccably delivered. Which brings me nicely onto the main problem I have with FIFA 12. Chauvinist pig dog he may be but FIFA 12 makes me long for the days of the passionate Scott Andy Gray. Who didn’t love ‘Take a boo son!’? The problem is that they have replaced him with Buzz Killington himself Alan “Smudger” Smith who is about as exciting as a Help the Aged trip to Hull. Here is a person who delivers his lines with all the charisma and panache of a cold unseasoned potato soup given to you by a Soviet Matriarch aboard the Trans Siberian express. A train that has gone through a wormhole, taken a detour and broken down somewhere on the outskirts of Barnsley.
These flaws aside FIFA is as enjoyable as ever and has made great strides in maintaining its status as the most realistic representation of the beautiful game on the market.
FIFA 2012: 7/10
'BadIdeaDan' at mlm